I’m always really impressed when I stay up past 9pm these days. I have no life now, I work and sleep and work and sleep, and occasionally I find time to eat, but only occasionally. It’s exhausting, and I’m getting ill so much that it’s becoming my permanent state once more.
I’ve been working full time for almost 3 months, and it’s still strange being constantly busy. I don’t do much else other than put my uniform on in the morning, rush for my bus, work all day, come home, put my pyjamas on and go to sleep. When I have days off, I sleep for as long as I can, then I do nothing all day because most of the time I really feel as if I physically can’t do much else. I put on rubbish clothes; massive baggy things, meaning that I have masses of nice clothes, wonderful dresses, that I have no time to actually wear. It’s weird having money to spend but not being able to enjoy what you buy. I bought a Moleskine diary (yes, I know), but I don’t have time to use it properly, and when I do write in it it’s all about work anyway. I hardly ever see my mum, and I pretty much never see my boyfriend, or friends, and it gets me down. I hate working. I really don’t think I’m cut out for it, I don’t know if it’s me being lazy or if I can actually claim that it’s actually hard for me. Is it? I’ve never done it before – maybe it’s that.
Even though I hate working, I do love my job. Like, actually properly love it. I’ve made some great friends there, I love helping people that come in (though I do complain sometimes – but then, what don’t I complain about?), especially because the store I work in is all about solving problems, and sometimes it’s tricky, but you solve the problems using everything and anything you have to hand and it’s fun, most of the time. I didn’t think I’d enjoy the job that was only meant as something to occupy my gap year, but I love it and I’ll be sad when I have to leave. So that’s where I’ve been, working my arse off to pay for…well, to pay for nothing really. I’ll find a use for the money, I’m sure.
Like buying a new phone, as my darling, darling phone broke! I’ve had my BlackBerry for less than a year and on Tuesday it broke. I was sending a tweet, went to pay for something, then when I looked down the screen was white and it cheerfully told me it was corrupt. It’s now GOD KNOWS WHERE being ‘fixed’ (really I bet they’ll just give me a new handset without even trying to fix poor Agnetha (yeah, don’t ask)) and I am phoneless. It’s weird. Really, really weird. It’s making me think in an awfully Douglas Copeland kind of way, observing people and…and…situations. In the real world. Instead of on Twitter. I mean..WHAT.
I think it’d be better if I had no phone whatsoever, but I’m using my OLD AS TIME ITSELF LG Chocolate (yknow, for emergencies, like sending random texts to my boyfriend) and it’s frustrating. The man in the T-Mobile shop (“Andrew”) said that this way I’d appreciate “modern technology” a lot more than I do currently. Yeah, you know what, “Andrew”? SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE I WANT MY BLACKBERRY BACK