dirrrty pop: Here Comes The Rain…

Who doesn’t love a good old pop battle, eh? Whether it’s Blur vs Oasis, Beckham vs Ellis-Bextor or Westlife vs Bob The Builder, everyone loves an old fashioned chart spat.

Cheryl Cole, as you may expect, is often pitched against her Girls Aloud bandmate Nadine Coyle as they both prepare to release their albums this month. But if you ask me, that is such a boring basis for a battle. The real excitement lies between Cole and the newly Robbie-fied Take That, as both pop powerhouses prepare to unleash their take on cliched, rain-related balladeering with The Flood. Cheryl’s version is, as you may expect, a ballad that even the autotune struggles to keep up with (“love me like a FLOOAAAAOOOAAAAOOOOD”, she/the computer wails), and Take That’s version is a brooding, sentimental ballad complete with a video full of manlove to keep the ladies happy.

Quite how two major pop acts manage to release singles with the same title around the same date, I don’t know – does no planning go into this ‘being a popstar’ thing anymore?

Nevertheless, it has provided all at Eletctric City Towers (err, thats just the boyfriend and me then) with much water-associated LOLs. Inspired by Barlow & co, and Ms. Cole, join me as I take a look at other acts who have sat by their window watching the rain fall (ala Joey Tribbiani) and thought “Eureka! That’s my next hit single right there”

Cheryl Cole – Rain On Me

Cheryl Cole is no stranger to telling the world of her love of rain, as demonstrated in 2009 on the track Rain On Me, which centres on Poor Cheryl desperately trying to hide her tears in the rain. The lyrics are all taken from a 14 year old’s MSN username – “**~~I LiKe wAlKiNg iN tHe rAiiN bEcaAuSe n0 0nE cAn SeE Meii CrYiiNg~~**” (Probably), but don’t let that put you off as unlike 76% of 3 Words, the album it’s taken from, Rain On Me is actually quite good. We like emo Cheryl.

Garbage – I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Cheryl’s stance on rain-related depression is in stark contrast to Garbage’s I’m Only Happy When It Rains, which you think would severely impact on your ability to enjoy life (though you’d probably be alright if you lived in England). In this Shirley Manson warbles on about how much she loves the miserable things in life, such as rain, which is unfair as jumping in puddles is one of life’s much neglected joys. Manson has said that the song is “a dig at ourselves because we like records that don’t make us feel very happy” – which is the best excuse we’ve heard yet for being a fan of Coldplay.

Led Zeppelin – The Rain Song

Rain can make you feel quite happy, though, mainly when you’re sitting inside with a big mug of hot chocolate and the heating turned right up. Hands up who else has sat staring wistfully out of the window as it chucks it down? There’s something very tranquil about watching the rain, especially when you can relax in the lovely knowledge that you won’t be out in it getting wet and angry. Led Zeppelin’s The Rain Song is perfect to listen to at these times, a beautiful love ballad that in true Led Zep form, comes in at over 7 minutes long.

Duffy – Rain On Your Parade

Duffy isn’t renowned for being any good to anyone other than my mum, so Rain On Your Parade, a track from a reissue of her debut Rockferry, was a welcome surprise. Gone was her dull, ‘Motown inspired’ sound and in its place was a luscious, string-led James Bond kinda vibe. Duffy raining on a parade wasn’t going to cancel a carnival or anything, but the lover that jilted her had better watch out.

B*Witched – Blame It On The Weatherman

If you are currently sitting at home having come in from the rain, with wet feet, scraggly hair and an umbrella in the bath like me, you should take the advice of the four denim clad lassies from Ireland better known as B*Witched, who during the course of their short lived careers provided many life lessons. Like “come on, get it on, riding in our rollercoaster of love”. Of course.